RIP pelvic floor

I am mourning a loss, a loss of something I’d paid almost no attention to for my entire life but that I now miss daily.  So long pelvic floor, it’s true what they say, you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.  I’m sorry that I took you for granted, that I didn’t appreciate all the hard work you’d done for me over the years.

How funny that what were once unnoticed, everyday actions can now fill me with instant fear.  No more squat exercises for me, no more trampolining.  Yeah ok, those things never happened anyway but y’know, I could have if I wanted to.  I now have a full stock of cough remedies ready to neck at the slightest hint of a tickle ‘cos god knows uncontrollable coughing is not something I want to contend with anytime soon.  These days I automatically do some kind of weird cross legged curtsy combo when I sneeze and heaven forbid I should sneeze whilst I’m laughing, game over!

Yes, my midwife reminded me at every visit of the importance of doing those damn Kegel exercises and yes, I almost always forgot. I spent the majority of my pregnancy trying to get those bloody thimble wees out not practising clenching those muscles that keep them in!

I will do my best to resurrect you old friend but in the meantime pass the Tena Lady.


I’m not on my own here am I ladies?

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