Change is coming…

So, this is it, the third trimester and days away from meeting our daughter.  It still doesn’t seem real to say those words…our daughter, my boy’s sister, crazy!  I’m excited, scared and really curious to see what she is like, will she be like my son? Will I feel the same way I felt last time?  This may be my second time around but there are still so many unknowns that I feel like a first timer all over again.  The plus side has been that we haven’t had to buy so much baby gear this time, a few clothes and a co sleeper cot have been about it so far.  I feel sad that it’s very likely the last time we will use these things but I have to focus on the positive that we may get some space back in our house at some point in the next 10 or so years!

The third trimester has been hard going this time.  The first trimester exhaustion has returned as I get bigger every second and am out of breath just from sitting still!  The back pain has been horrendous again, no position is comfortable and I’m not getting much sleep.  It brings me to tears sometimes but I know that it won’t last forever and it really is a very small price to pay for the opportunity to carry this little one.

Pregnancy no 2

Running around after my tantrumming toddler has been a huge challenge, especially as he has decided that now is a great time to refuse to walk anywhere and is demanding “mummy pick up” roughly every 30 seconds.  Taking the hard line with him has been difficult as the guilt around him no longer being the centre of attention has hit.  I’m already feeling bad about all the things I just can’t do with or for him at this stage of pregnancy.  I had big plans of fitting lots of fun stuff in during our last days together as just the two of us.  In reality there’s been a lot of days at home playing kitchens and trains and watching Twirlywoos due to me having next to zero energy.  We’ve been able to get out and about a bit more at the weekend when it’s been the three of us but the guilt is still very real.  I worry about how my son will deal with a new family member having had us all to himself so far.  We’ve made sure to talk about the baby with him lots and how she will need lots of help from her big brother to teach her how to do things.  He has spent a lot of time with his best friend and his little baby sister, he is very loving towards her and always excited to see her but I do foresee some confusion when he realises that this one isn’t leaving and she’s staying put full time!

We bought these books which he has really enjoyed reading every day.

new baby books

He did find one at his friends house called “There’s a house inside my mummy” which he liked but after he started telling everyone his mummy was a house I decided against buying :S

All in all its been a very different experience so far this time around.  I haven’t had time to really obsess over all things pregnancy and babies like I did last time but that’s not always been a bad thing.  I’ve had my son to focus on, he has some huge changes to deal with soon that he hasn’t asked for but I know already how much he will love her and I’m so happy that we are lucky enough to be able to give him the gift of becoming a big brother.

hospital bags

This pregnancy has flown by and I think it will still feel surreal to be a mum of two long after she’s born.  In the meantime the bags are ready so I’m just making the most of our last bit of time as a family of 3.

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