Having it all

I think it’s fair to say that I’m a creature of habit, I like routine, I like structure and security.  That being the case I am in for an interesting time ahead.  I am taking voluntary redundancy, I never thought I would.  I’ve been with my employer for most of my working life and whilst this was never really a job I set out to do or dreamed of when I was younger it was mine, it was what I did and I did a decent job of it.

As scary as it is, I feel that taking this opportunity and seeing it as such is the right thing for me to do at this point, it’s time for change.  So I now find myself in a very new and strange position, I know that I will soon be leaving my job but I have absolutely no idea what I will do next.  I do know that I would love to be able to continue working part-time for a while longer so that I can keep that extra time I have with Noah whilst he is still young and changing so quickly.

In 5 years time, in an ideal world I would be working for myself doing something I enjoy.  I want to be able to make time for every sports day, every time he’s up on the stage, I want one of us to always be there to share those experiences with him.  High hopes eh!?!  Society tries to tell me I can’t do that, I can’t have it all and I shouldn’t dare to expect it.  I chose to have a family instead, yes that’s right, successful parenting and doing a great job of working outside of the home are apparently mutually exclusive.  I can’t possibly be a good mother and have a good career at the same time, one will inevitably suffer so I’m told.  The more research I’ve done the clearer it has become to me that there are ways of at least getting a little closer to that ideal of having a decent work life balance as a parent without burning out or drowning in guilt.  I could talk about this issue for hours but I will save that for another time as shit’s about to get very real for me and I need to focus my mind on that right now.Boss

So, I have this opportunity to make a complete change, I would like to try to do something I enjoy rather than just whatever pays the bills and I would like to continue spending time with my son.  This means that financially, at least in the short-term, things will be a bit more stretched.  The trade-off is that I am (hopefully) happier and more motivated.  I am still wrestling with this as it continues to put pressure on Mr me as the main breadwinner of the household in the meantime.  I’m sure he would appreciate the benefits of me being less frustrated, stressed and snappy though!  So there is still some guilt there which I will need to deal with, it seems I am offsetting parent guilt with partner guilt.

With all of this in mind I have booked myself on a number of courses including photography, videography and the Digital Mums Community Manager programme.  I’m really looking forward to getting started and am readying myself for the workload!

I know I will regret it if I don’t take this opportunity to make a change so wish me luck people!

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